You can be jealous and possessive about someone, not because you love them but because you feel out of control and responding to potentially also feeling rejected.

Dating jealousy games video

Don’t you need to be near bullet proof to not become emotionally engaged on some level with them all, or at least some of them?

Then there’s the whole ‘I will date several people at once so that I can appear elusive and unattainable so that I trigger desire, jealousy, and possessiveness so that one steps up and commits’. He’s quick out the gate, talking about the future, making you feel the centre of the universe, and convincing you of his interest.

You fall for his charms and you start expecting, needing, and wanting in line with what he’s been putting out.

Next thing you know, he starts blowing lukewarm or cold.

When it becomes evident that he’s flip flapping and playing silly games, you do your best to move on and decide to start dating other people and maybe even meet someone special. He sends a couple of texts and he’s waiting for you when you get home. Would you be able to sustain a level of elusiveness to hold onto this man?

Next thing you know, he’s blowing hot again, trying to convince you that you should give him another chance and he’ll be different this time. A few days or weeks go by and slowly, he starts cooling off and creeping back to lukewarm. You talk to him and tell him that if he’s not going to step up to beat it. You think that he must be crazy about you because he’s going out of his mind with jealousy wondering who and what you’ve been doing. At what point would you realise that this is not a man who is actually looking to ?

You do your best to get over him and start trying to date again. He starts spouting about how crazy he is about you, although he chooses his words carefully when he’s making his promises. Let me give you a few valuable pieces of advice: A lot of people mistake the fact that they feel jealous and possessive about someone as signs that they must be crazy about them.

I’ve had a number of emails and comments since I wrote about how dating several people at once is a sign of your own emotional unavailability and commitment resistance, naturally with some saying how wrong I am but with the others wanting my thoughts on using dating several people with a view to making the one person you do want bite the bait because you trigger desire, jealousy, and enough possessiveness that they effectively want to lock you down.

I’ll start first by re-emphasising the key word: several people at once.

If I go on a date or two with someone, we’ve been on a date or two.

If you go beyond a few dates, you’re heading into the territory of actually dating them.