Those friends in relationships who are always preaching, “It just kind of happens,” and “you’ll know when the timing’s right,” might be annoying — but they’re also kind of right.“My friend, Adam, and I had been casually hooking up for awhile,” says Jennifer, 27.“We didn’t do anything special to go from that to seriously dating though.

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The texting rule above applies to hanging out IRL too.

So, if you’re only meeting up during bar hours, make plans during the other 9 to 5. Go bowling or take a walk through the park—whatever you do, it should be an activity that doesn’t end in, well, you know.

It’ll give you a chance to see each other in a new light. This will establish that you have the groundwork for a real relationship—not just a physical one. “Don’t feel like you need to conform to stereotypes and act as if you like to drink whiskey, watch sports, and talk about cars—I’ve had a girl do that before and it’s awkward,” says Aaron, 28.

“You’ll get closer by finding things you both genuinely like to do.” Introduce him to your friends.

Think: talking to you about friend problems or sharing childhood stories.

These subtle cues are indicators that he feels comfortable opening up to you. “Before my girlfriend and I became official, I used to only call and text her when I was drunk,” says James, 28.

“One day she told me if I was serious about liking her, I would have to text her during the day and when I was sober.

I started texting her every day.” And schedule more day dates.

Getting along with each other’s friends shows you have a deeper level of compatibility.